i want to settle this

i guess i'm just gonna have to talk to her. or something. idk. i'm gonna do something though because i'm just tired of all of these arguments.

i just want to be happy with him. i don't want her to keep coming up in casual conversation and triggering this bad side in both of us that just brings on the worst of arguments.

i don't like having that huge MOUNTAIN of an argument hovering in the air just waiting for us to settle it. and i know that's what it is. that's why it keeps coming up. because it's waiting to be settled. it can't just be ignored. it's too big to be ignored.

and he's right maybe i don't know her. and i've said this before. i know she probably felt bad about all of this when he left her for me. and i have so much fear and anxiety because i'm afraid that one day he's just gonna do the same thing to me.

but i can't really say much because i don't know everything about how all this shit went down. because he just doesn't want to tell me. he doesn't want to talk about it and i don't know why. but we just really do need to settle this. and let go of all of this shit.

please just talk to me about it. i want to settle this.